Some Mistakes I Have Made

  1. Climbed onto roof of Grandmother’s house with cousin to shoot BB gun at neighbor’s dog.
  2. Boiled 5% vinegar in unventilated kitchen to make concentrated acetic acid.
  3. Purchased Mika’s Life In Cartoon Motion.
  4. Ended wonderful long-term relationship for no discernible reason.
  5. Overturned drinking glass to confirm suspicions of milk presence (addendum: suspicions confirmed).
  6. Spoke in Mrs. Johnson’s class without first raising hand to acquire permission.
  7. Coated entire apartment with diatomaceous earth to thwart bed bug infestation.
  8. Waited until end of semester to work on online course.
  9. Failed to bring textbook to open book test.
  10. Ordered breakfast from airport McDonald’s.
  11. Declined free donut.
  12. Introduced MgCl2 into aqueous solution without safety goggles.
  13. Called Laura Lauren.
  14. Turned light off instead of fan on.
  15. Read The Fountainhead.
  16. Collected empty root beer bottles without rinsing them.
  17. Opened bag of cereal too quickly.
  18. Inserted batteries wrong way.
  19. Stapled too close to margins.
  20. Went bowling.
  21. Moved to New Jersey.
  22. Minored in economics.
  23. Left dishes in sink for extended period.
  24. Urinated on laundry in bathroom while half-asleep.
  25. Picked at it.
  26. Neglected to sign up for required class offered only every other spring, forcing super-senior status.
  27. Changed channel instead of volume.
  28. Drove 82 miles per hour in 70 miles per hour zone.
  29. Snapped into Slim Jim.
  30. Vacuumed penny.

36 Responses to “Some Mistakes I Have Made”

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