90% True

Mico
n.) Residue from an aged painted surface, detected most easily by expensive clothing of complementary coloring.

Krum
v.) To discover a hidden piece of gum on the underside of a desk with one’s knee.

Alpine
n.) A small tent erected in the crotch of one’s trousers whilst sitting.

Doss
v.) To jostle a cup whilst holding it above one’s face in a desperate attempt to dislodge an azle.

Azle
n.) An icecube stuck at the bottom of a fast food restaurant drinking cup.

Altair
n.) A hypothetical angle¹ that, when present in the hinge of a car door, allows for ease of entry and exit while simultaneously preventing any potentially damaging contact with neighboring vehicles. Exact value unknown; expressed as a range of probabilities and denoted by uppercase lamda, Λ.

Decatur
n.) Any erroneous mathematical procedure that happens to yield a correct answer; useful only on multiple choice exams.

Dilley
v.) To ponder endlessly on the nature of the final digit² of an infinite number.

1.) Current automotive design limitations have forced manufacturers to include only two extreme angle possibilities — each setting satisfying one condition to the exclusion of the other.

2.) It’s 8, by the way.

Rusk
v.) To untangle a wire by vigorously shaking it.

Nash
n.) A gelid stream of water usually located on the outer rim of a showerhead that originates from a separate pipe unconnected to the main water heater.

Merkel
n.) A scheduling blunder wherein several activities are squeezed into overlapping timeframes, inevitably resulting in compromised plans.

.: I should set up a submission form for people to submit their own words. Hmm. I think I’ll get on that.

Borger
n.) An item found in the likeliest location only after searching every possible place.
Borg
v.) To search everywhere but the likeliest location.

I wasted all afternoon borging for my keys.

Arp
n.) A type of argument that occurs only after fifty years of marriage.
v.) To argue with one’s spouse of fifty years.

Mom and Dad have been arping for the past twenty minutes about that stupid cat.

Fritch
n.) An entirely useless instinct wherein a person immediately realizes the irreparable consequences of whatever it was they just did.

Bob’s fritch told him those papers were probably best left unshredded.

Ballinger
1. n.) A fallacious or fraudulent paper written on a particularly contentious issue that exists solely for pundits and journalists to cite as an authoritative source. Reading the paper is generally considered superfluous.
2. v.) To publish a fallacious paper on a contentious topic with the intent to create confusion and controversy where none exists.

I knew Richard Lindzen’s Wall Street Journal opinion piece on Global Warming was unreliable once I spotted the ballinger in the fifteenth paragraph.

Jasper
1. n.) A seemingly ideal solution rendered infeasible only by its defiance of physical law.
2. adj.) Superficially tenable but physically impossible.

Bob’s plan to cool down the kitchen by opening the refrigerator door turned out to be a rather expensive jasper solution, costing him several groceries and a new compressor.

Clute
n.) A short period of time during which the blinker of one car is synchronized with the blinker of another car.

“Man, this red light has lasted five clute cycles,” complained Mark.

.: Douglas Adams and John Lloyd published a book titled “The Deeper Meaning of Liff” wherein they had definitions for words that they felt needed to exist. For instance, a haxby (n.) is “any gardening implement found in a potting-shed whose exact purpose is unclear.” The words for these new definition were taken from city names in Britain, but there were some exceptions, like malibu (n.): “The height by which the top of a wave exceeds the height to which you have rolled up your trousers.”

.: Recently I’ve noticed quite a few situations which I believe deserve their own words. Today I found two, and I would like to share them with you:

Brady
(n.) 1. a. An undesirable flavor that accumulates in a container of sweets as other flavors are eaten. b. Most common brady is lemon, or “yellow.”
2. A single representative of the undesired flavor.

“Dude, what’s left in your bag?” “Oh, mainly bradies and some reds.”

Luling
(n.) Any slim or flattened object, usually a bookmark but occasionally a photograph, found between the pages of a book purchased from a used bookstore.

“Check out this weird luling I got from Bob’s Paperback Exchange”

.: Here are some pictures to help you visualize these new words:

Bradies

A luling

.: Borrowing from Adams and Lloyd’s method, I have used names of cities in my native state of Texas: Brady, TX and Luling, TX.