I Hate Sherlock Holmes

Posted By on November 20, 2010

.: I hate Sherlock Holmes. I hate him because he gets all this undue recognition as a great scientific mind and he’s not. He jumps to wildly improbable conclusions on the thinnest of evidence without a moment’s consideration of alternative hypotheses. If Watson enters the room with scuffed boots, Holmes will instantly declare, “Watson, your maidservant must have recently miscarried.” Watson, bemused, will respond with shock and incredulity even though this happens every time he visits.

“How could you possibly know that, Holmes?”

“Well, it’s obvious a learned gentleman such as yourself will value his time to the degree that he would never deign to polish his own boots: a lengthy and arduous procedure indeed. Instead he would enlist the hand of someone in his servitude, and since this task can be performed indoors I feel it quite sensible to conclude this particular servant was female. Since you can afford not to employ the feebleminded, it follows this particular servant would be otherwise diligent in her polishing, except on this particular occasion she was agonizing the loss of her progeny. Consequently she returned your boots in subpar condition.”

.: Watson never says, “No Holmes, I was on my way over and I tripped on the curb.”

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5 Responses to “I Hate Sherlock Holmes”

  1. Susan says:

    If Watson had tripped on the sidewalk, I’m pretty sure Holmes would have deduced that from the single out of place mustache hair and frustrated glint in his eye.

  2. LockHood says:

    thats so stupid . Only the greatest fool could say SH is Not intelligent . SH ‘s deductions are most logical and not like your pathetic little made up one . :-J

  3. Tam says:

    He’s gay and british

  4. rishabh says:

    U ALL ARE JEALOUS OF SH because u can’t do thing that he can do
    and what sherlock hOlmes has is called OBSERVATION SKILL

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