Like he likes his food: fast

Posted By on October 6, 2010

.: I’m standing in line behind a college student and a middle-aged man with greasy, short hair. The greaser seems indecisive about his order and instructs the student in front of me to go in front of him. The student quietly declines the offer, and the greaser becomes indignant. Now it’s less an offer and more a command:

“Just get in front of me, what the fuck.”

.: There is no question mark because it is not a question. The student obliges and the elderly lady behind the counter takes his order. I gesture to ask if I should follow suit, but Greaser ignores me. He’s not even looking at the menu.

“Next in line please!” another elderly lady screeches, and Greaser signals for me to proceed. As I place my order*, I see Greaser finally approach the other end of the counter to order from the only attractive and young cashier. He chats her up with nauseating inanities and she smiles all the while.

*Today is no exception:

“Number one with no mayonnaise and a large–”

“Will that be for here or to go?”

“–unsweetened iced tea. For here, and an unsweetened iced–”

“No mayonnaise?”

“No, and an unsweetened–”

“What size?”


“And what would you like to drink?”

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