Caulimovirus | October 18, 2010
.: Dan Savage was invited to give a talk at Rutgers about his It Gets Better Project. The gist of it was something like, “Gay teenagers are routinely abused in schools throughout the country, and they — unlike victims of regular bullying — often have no one to turn to because their parents/church/community disapproves of […]
Caulimovirus | October 15, 2010
.: When I was a kid I would occasionally sleepwalk. In the past few years, however, sleepwalking has become a nightly occurrence for me. Sometimes I vaguely remember it happening in the hazy manner one remembers a dream. Other times I learn about it the morning after; either my girlfriend informs me or I find […]
Caulimovirus | October 15, 2010
.: Human beings are among the most adaptable species on this planet and its orbiting satellites. Our resilient and malleable forms come with many features which, though used frequently, are rarely noticed or understood by those using them. The purpose of this series is to acquaint you with the nooks, crannies, and other hidden mysteries […]
Caulimovirus | October 7, 2010
Furiously scribbling a pen onto paper to the point that the page wets and tears. Filling in lowercase a’s, b’s, d’s, e’s, g’s, o’s, p’s, q’s; uppercase A’s, B’s, D’s, O’s, P’s, Q’s, R’s; 0’s, 4’s, 6’s, 8’s, 9’s; and ampersands. Tracing the grooves in one’s shoes with a pen or pencil. Pouring glue onto […]
Caulimovirus | October 6, 2010
.: Last month I made my first genuine scientific discovery: the genomic sequence and a mutant variant of the magnesium chelatase subunit I gene of Nicotiana sylvestris. It was a discovery only in the strictest technical sense, on par of someone “discovering” in the morning that they have just woken. No new theories were required […]
Caulimovirus | October 6, 2010
.: I’m standing in line behind a college student and a middle-aged man with greasy, short hair. The greaser seems indecisive about his order and instructs the student in front of me to go in front of him. The student quietly declines the offer, and the greaser becomes indignant. Now it’s less an offer and […]
Caulimovirus | October 5, 2010
Caulimovirus | October 3, 2010
.: My brother thinks anyone can be a journalist, including seventh graders. He sent me this story, via Fark, as evidence: Hit-and-Run Driver Hides in Tree Police say the driver of a hit and run crash climbed up in a tree to hide, but they found him anyway and arrested him. It happened on Hwy […]
any day you survive the Dooner treatment is a good day as if watson would leave his house in improperly polished footwear a true scientist will always disregard the risks in the pursuit of knowledge every sentence gets its own paragraph fighting feeding fleeing and not tonight honey i'm tired how am i supposed to type one handed now i'm popping open a bottle of synthohol when i publish I can see you fouling up the air tonight - oh lord i don't even know if dogs have caeca I sleep with three socks marketers developed this ace years ago but kept it sleeved for when the inevitable lull in ketchup demand strikes now they're going to watch even more fox news one solution is to have two dachshunds so that they wind up licking each other instead people would be much kinder if robots would sort them by wavelength plus now everywhere I go I know how to do a maxi prep spend the extra thirty bucks for a better motel surfing is just another way of knowing they can't just pour a curb this time the falling apple impedes science turns out they weren't poisonous what am i ever going to use this for what if he prefers to do it oz-like women have it not necessarily harder but certainly creepier