Posted By Caulimovirus on January 27, 2010
.: Today my professor had to show the class a tape on pesticide safety, and by tape I mean an actual VHS cassette tape — possibly older than I was. The tracking was terrible, and the narrator sounded like he was speaking through a box fan. When she announced that she didn’t know how to fix it, I jokingly suggested pulling out the cartridge, blowing on it, and putting it back in. So she, without any hint of irony, did.
any day you survive the Dooner treatment is a good day as if watson would leave his house in improperly polished footwear a true scientist will always disregard the risks in the pursuit of knowledge every sentence gets its own paragraph fighting feeding fleeing and not tonight honey i'm tired how am i supposed to type one handed now i'm popping open a bottle of synthohol when i publish I can see you fouling up the air tonight - oh lord i don't even know if dogs have caeca I sleep with three socks marketers developed this ace years ago but kept it sleeved for when the inevitable lull in ketchup demand strikes now they're going to watch even more fox news one solution is to have two dachshunds so that they wind up licking each other instead people would be much kinder if robots would sort them by wavelength plus now everywhere I go I know how to do a maxi prep spend the extra thirty bucks for a better motel surfing is just another way of knowing they can't just pour a curb this time the falling apple impedes science turns out they weren't poisonous what am i ever going to use this for what if he prefers to do it oz-like women have it not necessarily harder but certainly creepier
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