5bad.key5board

Posted By on February 29, 2008

*<5b>*

Or
f”This.Fost.Took.Way.Too.Long.To.Tyfe”*
*
f
f.:.I.logged.onto.a.fu5blic.co7mfuter.in.the.student.union
f5building.here.at.%Baylor..At.first.I.was.confused8,.since
fthe.screen.wasn’t.resfonding.to.the.7mouse8,.5but.I
fcould.still.7move.the.cursor..I.tried.to.tyfe.7my.na7me
f5but.a.five.keft.affearing.5before.the.”5b”..I.hit.the
fleft.arrow.key.and.deleted.the.five8,.5but.I.found.I
fcouldn’t.use.the.right.arrow.key.at.all.
f
f.:.I.turned.off.nu7m5ber.lock.and.used.the.nu7m5ber
ffad.keys.instead..That.solved.one.fro5ble7m8,.5but.as
fyou.can.clearly.see8,.there.were.others..You’ll.notice
fother.nu7m5bers.5before.letters8,.like.the.seven.in.front
fof.”7m”.and.the.eight.in.front.of.the.co7m7ma..I.haven’t
fused.it.yet8,.5but.there.is.also.an.afostrofhe.in.front.of
fthe.”`z”.key..The.characters.also.carry.over.when.I.try
fto.cafitali`ze.the7m..~Zoiks!
f
f.:.You’ll.also.notice.a.letter.7missing.fro7m.the.following
fsequence.:a5bcdefghijkl7mnoqrstuvwxy`z..That.is
f5because.I.cannot.tyfe.that.letter.at.all..No.dou5bt
fyou’ve.notice.how.the.letter.”f”.has.see7med.to.show.uf
fin.the.oddest.flaces..This.is.5because.it.looks.7most.like
fthe.letter.5between.”o”.and.”q”8,.5but.also.5because
feveryti7me.I.hit.the.enter.key8,.an.f.affears.
f
f.:.See?
f
f.:.I.have.had.to.5be.very.careful.not.to.hit.the.return
fkey.while.writing.this..If.I.do8,.the.fage.will.refresh.and
fI.will.have.lost.all.that.I’ve.written..Also8,.the.right-click
fstill.works.on.the.7mouse8,.5but.the.left.click.does.not8,
fso.there.has.5been.7much.ctrl-ta5b5bing.and.shift-
fta5b5bing.
f
f.:.One.other.thing.you.7might.5be.wondering.is.how.I
fgot.to.90fercenttrue.co7m.to.fost.this..That.was.a
ffarticularly.difficult.challenge8,.since.this.co7mfuter’s
fcharacter.7maf.is.nowhere.to.5be.found..I.couldn’t
fcofy.and.faste.the.letter.5between.”o”.and.”q”.5because
fI.couldn’t.highlight.any.text.with.7my.7mouse..%Being
fthe.genius.I.a7m8,.I.re7me7m5bered.the.server.na7me
ffor.7my.site.and.tyfed.that.into.the.address.5bar
finstead:.httf://0162da9.netsolhost.co7m.Fro5ble7m
fsolved.
f
f.:.Oh8,.5but.then.there.was.the.frocess.of.logging.in.
fEveryti7me.I.fress.the.enter.key8,.it.adds.an.”f”..So8,
fI.had.to.keef.entering.7my.fassword.and.hit.enter8,
ffraying.that.the.fassword.would.trans7mit.faster.than
fthe.enter.key.could.add.that.extra.”f”..After.several
ftries8,.it.finally.worked.
f
f.:.That’s.all.I.can.find.that’s.wrong.with.this.co7mfuter8,
fother.than.the.right.shift.key.not.working.and.the.left
fctrl.key.not.working..Oh8,.and.none.of.the.Fkeys.do.what
fthey.nor7mally.do8,.5but.I’7m.too.afraid.to.try.the7m.all8,
flest.I.lose.everything.I’ve.written.
f
f.:.I.guess.every.story.has.a.7moral8,.so.this.one.would
ffro5ba5bly.go.so7mething.like.this:
f
f”Don’t.sfill.your.drinks.on.a.fu5blic.key5board8,.you.ass.”

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Comments

One Response to “5bad.key5board”

  1. Christina says:

    This was entrancing. I didn’t know you still updated your website. I guess I don’t come here because of that picture–it is basically the nightmarish dystopian future of a nightmarish dystopian future that I hope never comes into existence.

    Also I think it would take more than one drink to make a computer act like that.

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