Part Seven

| August 26, 2007

Or “How To Ruin A Vacation With Nothing But An Incurable Virus” .: Television cameras add approximately ten pounds to a person’s body. If depression could be quantified by a metric similar to weight, then cameras have the opposite effect on the city of Slough. Slough was the setting for The Office, a comedy of […]

Part Six

| August 16, 2007

Or “No, We Are Not Being Served” .: In my twenty-one years of experience as a dedicated food eater, I’ve noticed a standard protocol which every American restaurant follows religiously: You enter the establishment. The hostess smiles and leads you to your table. The waiter asks what you’d like to drink. The waiter returns promptly […]

Part Five

| August 15, 2007

Or “Museums and Castles and Punters, Oh My!” .: Yesterday was supposed to be Darwin Day, but we failed to realize, foolish American we were, just how long British distances can be. The 16 miles from London to Downe is actually equivalent to 130 American miles. I’d like to snatch a Briton from a pub, […]

Part Four

| August 9, 2007

Or “A Walk Around Downe” .: Earlier in the day we stopped by a bookstore and purchased half a dozen books between the two of us (at surprisingly reasonable prices, even factoring in the exchange rate). Oscar also bought two souvenir guidebooks and a book about Christ at the British Museum. We never returned to […]

Part Three

| August 6, 2007

Or “An Early Afternoon At The British Museum” .: We started our second day with a visit to the British Museum. Free of charge ever since it began in 1753, the British Museum has since amassed the world’s largest collection of statues with missing dangly bits. The museum itself impressed me more than any of […]

Part Two

| August 5, 2007

Or “First Impressions and Other Miscellany” .: Shortly after we lost Judy, Oscar and I emerged from the underground, and I saw my first real view of London up close. The unmistakable first impression I got was an intense craving for McDonalds, a sip of Budweiser chased down with Coke, all while talking on a […]

Part One

| August 4, 2007

Or “My Trip To Europe” “Do you have any liquids or gels in your bags?” “I have gum.” “Gum ain’t a liquid!” “Well it has liquid crystals.” .: So began our trip to London and Paris. Oscar wished to waste three hours being detained by airport security. We somehow made it through without being stopped, […]