Caulimovirus | August 26, 2007
Or “How To Ruin A Vacation With Nothing But An Incurable Virus” .: Television cameras add approximately ten pounds to a person’s body. If depression could be quantified by a metric similar to weight, then cameras have the opposite effect on the city of Slough. Slough was the setting for The Office, a comedy of […]
Caulimovirus | August 16, 2007
Or “No, We Are Not Being Served” .: In my twenty-one years of experience as a dedicated food eater, I’ve noticed a standard protocol which every American restaurant follows religiously: You enter the establishment. The hostess smiles and leads you to your table. The waiter asks what you’d like to drink. The waiter returns promptly […]
Caulimovirus | August 15, 2007
Or “Museums and Castles and Punters, Oh My!” .: Yesterday was supposed to be Darwin Day, but we failed to realize, foolish American we were, just how long British distances can be. The 16 miles from London to Downe is actually equivalent to 130 American miles. I’d like to snatch a Briton from a pub, […]
Caulimovirus | August 9, 2007
Or “A Walk Around Downe” .: Earlier in the day we stopped by a bookstore and purchased half a dozen books between the two of us (at surprisingly reasonable prices, even factoring in the exchange rate). Oscar also bought two souvenir guidebooks and a book about Christ at the British Museum. We never returned to […]
Caulimovirus | August 6, 2007
Or “An Early Afternoon At The British Museum” .: We started our second day with a visit to the British Museum. Free of charge ever since it began in 1753, the British Museum has since amassed the world’s largest collection of statues with missing dangly bits. The museum itself impressed me more than any of […]
Caulimovirus | August 5, 2007
Or “First Impressions and Other Miscellany” .: Shortly after we lost Judy, Oscar and I emerged from the underground, and I saw my first real view of London up close. The unmistakable first impression I got was an intense craving for McDonalds, a sip of Budweiser chased down with Coke, all while talking on a […]
Caulimovirus | August 4, 2007
Or “My Trip To Europe” “Do you have any liquids or gels in your bags?†“I have gum.†“Gum ain’t a liquid!†“Well it has liquid crystals.†.: So began our trip to London and Paris. Oscar wished to waste three hours being detained by airport security. We somehow made it through without being stopped, […]
any day you survive the Dooner treatment is a good day as if watson would leave his house in improperly polished footwear a true scientist will always disregard the risks in the pursuit of knowledge every sentence gets its own paragraph fighting feeding fleeing and not tonight honey i'm tired how am i supposed to type one handed now i'm popping open a bottle of synthohol when i publish I can see you fouling up the air tonight - oh lord i don't even know if dogs have caeca I sleep with three socks marketers developed this ace years ago but kept it sleeved for when the inevitable lull in ketchup demand strikes now they're going to watch even more fox news one solution is to have two dachshunds so that they wind up licking each other instead people would be much kinder if robots would sort them by wavelength plus now everywhere I go I know how to do a maxi prep spend the extra thirty bucks for a better motel surfing is just another way of knowing they can't just pour a curb this time the falling apple impedes science turns out they weren't poisonous what am i ever going to use this for what if he prefers to do it oz-like women have it not necessarily harder but certainly creepier