Posted By Caulimovirus on June 18, 2007
“One Zero One Zero One”
.: Yesterday was my 21st birthday. As such, I am now able to legally drink liquor, gamble money, and stab people. I don’t see the appeal of alcohol, and I have enough of an understanding of mathematics to know why gambling is foolish. The only way I can make this birthday special is to find someone with no home, living relatives, or will to live. But I’ve already waited 21 years; it’s not like I can’t wait a few more days to find somebody.
.: That said, I did get to do something for my birthday: apply for a new passport! It’s a $97 fee for an adult, plus an extra $60 fee if you’d like to receive it while you still bear a passing resemblence to the person in the picture. For some reason, the $60 fee to “expedite” the process does not include the costs of express shipping, which comes out to about $33 more than advertised. That’s like buying a new car with the optional awesome stereo system, only to discover the speakers are extra.
.: So far I’ve received two birthday cards — neither had money, but one of them was really sweet. The other had a picture of a weiner dog on it.
.: I drove to Houston so I could meet people for the occasion. Excluding my grandparents and brother, I only saw one person, and it was only for an hour and a half. And it was extremely late at night. And it was thirty miles away. And it was raining. And it was worth it.
.: Several people chimed in on Facebook to say happy birthday. For some people, that’s all they said. I don’t want to sound bitter, but if you’re going to say nothing more than “happy birthday” — why bother? It’s pretty obvious that facebook reminded you. You’re doing nothing but translating a machine-kept record into a wall post. No “happy birthday, here’s a personalized message to show you I can do more than regurgitate time circuitry”?
.: However, I’m fairly certain that, had people not left a simple “happy birthday” message, I’d be here bitching about how lazy some people are for not even typing “happy birthday” even after Facebook already reminded them. Come to think of it, that’s what the vast majority of people did. Really, the point I’m trying to make is that it’s fun being curmudgeonly.
.: So yeah, I’m legal now. I can do everything adults can do except run for congress, senate, or the presidency; rent a car; or take a minor to Dave and Busters. Only 19 more years until my mid-life crisis!