90% True

Posted By Caulimovirus on January 5, 2007

.: Every now and then, in the absence of any original ideas or interesting insights, I find myself wanting to write about something. In such cases, I usually will implement a gimmick of some sort and pretend like that’s a respectable thing to do. And that’s why I’m going to copy and paste a few search strings I found in my referral logs.

creationism comics
.: The only creationism comic my site offers is the one I copied from Sam Chen’s site. You know, the one he posted without any hint of irony?

fork in the outlet
.: That this person has so far managed to work out the complex motor and cognitive skills necessary to use a search engine on a computer connected to the internet leads me to conclude that he knows damn well what happens when you insert a fork into an outlet.

politically incorrect guide
.: My site’s at the bottom of the google page for this string, but damnit that’s something to be proud of.

90percenttrue
.: Alternatively, my site is at the top of the google page for this one.

am i your one and only desire am i the reason you breathe or am
.: I’m your one and only desire? Check. I’m the reason you breathe and the reason you exist? Eh, it’s a tossup, really.

computer speakers arent that loud
.: Um, turn them up? Do you really need google to tell you that?

copies of teenage wasteland by anne tyler
.: True story: for the longest time I carried around an 11th grade essay on Anne Tyler’s “Teenage Wasteland” in my wallet. Only recently did I lose it.

cullen davis ministry ft. worth
.: See entry below on 1940’s discipline.

dumb dog
.: Apparently the internet is available to owners of stupid pets.What do you think the total percentage of internet users is for this particular subculture?

general cody
.: I’m pretty good at everything, but I’m nothing special.

half a milk dud car windshield
.: I hear they can do more damage than a good sized rock.

i am a terrorist
.: Oh no, I’m not falling for that one again.

i am i am
.: I heard you the first time.

i’m a pro-choice girl in love with a pro-life guy
.: Oh god, did someone just google their movie pitch?

in 1940 public school teachers ranked the top seven disciplinar
.: No they didn’t.

lost gas card
.: Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s not here, by the way, so don’t look at me.

picture of 90 pound weakling
.: I don’t know why Google insists on sending their readers to sites completely unrelated to the reader’s search queries. Just what makes Google think they’ll find pictures of 90 pound weaklings on what promotes itself as the maniliest blog in all the manliverse?

science fair dna experiment
.: You know, this is probably the only person who got what he was looking for.

.: Wasn’t that fun? I put up another post for you to read, and it cost me a mere modicum of effort. I should do easy thoughtless crap like this more often.

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