Posted By on November 14, 2006

“Photographic Representations of Things That Once Were”

.: The following are pictures I’ve taken over the past year which never made it to this site. I figured I’d pick a few that I’ve enjoyed and write a bit of context for your benefit. In no particular order…

Date: 9/16/2006 (View larger)
.: This isn’t an exciting picture, but context is key. On the right side of the street is a retirement community — the kind with golf-carts and single-story houses. On the left, a funeral home. “Have any of you seen Susie today?” “Oh dear, I heard she finally crossed the street…”

Date: 8/14/2006 (View larger)
.: This is another rather dull picture, a portrait of three brothers long since passed away. One of them is the grandfather of my grandmother. Every time I see this picture (which is actually a photograph of a restored copy of an old print), I think about the great chain of being. I think about how every single one of my ancestors — no matter how hard their lives were — at some point managed to reproduce successfully. They could have been failures at everything else in their lives, but for that one moment they managed to find a mate and propagate their own particular version of whatever fashionable code they happened to carry within them. And when I think about the great biological bush of life, I can never escape that one question, “Am I going to be at the end?”

Date: 10/21/2006 (View large)
.: This was from a visit to the Creation Evidence Museum Trailer in Glenrose, Texas. I was suffering from my mysterious twitch at the time, so it’s surprising the picture didn’t come out blurry. Sadly, even the clearest image of this painting wouldn’t give the viewer any idea of what the hell’s going on. As near as I can tell, it’s some bizarre form of planetary mitosis that may have occurred between the third and fourth day. At any rate, I don’t recall any passages from Genesis that mentioned Earth being attacked by giant intergalactic spirogyra.

Date: 3/3/2006 (View large)
.: Okay, so I already linked to a similar picture in this post, but this event needs more exposure. Not much else needs to be said.

Date: 2/15/2006 (View large)
.: I used to say “I have an irrational fear of guns,” but nowadays I say “I have a fear of guns.” I’ve learned that to fear guns is a highly rational stance, since guns are for killing and humans are afraid of being killed. But I think the fear more accurately stems from my childhood phobia of rubber bands being used as projectiles. If you think about it, bullets are just inelastic rubber bands traveling at a higher velocity.

Date: 9/8/2006 (View large)
.: Actually, I’d like to keep this one free of context.

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3 Responses to “Pictures!”

  1. Christina says:

    I’d like to know how the photographer was up so high in the last picture. Also: if there is a God you will be the end of your line. Too bad I don’t really believe in God. Or at the very least, that kind of vengeful, wrathful God. And also: it shows how horrible of a person I am that I laughed at the first picture’s description.

  2. susan says:

    I really hope the one that is your grandmother’s grandfather is the one that looks like a cross between Sam the Hobbit and Joey from Full House. If he found some chick to have unprotected sex with him, surely you can too.

  3. Amelia says:

    My gosh, I know what that diagram IS, it demonstrates how the Genesis account of a worldwide flood is both historically and scientifically accurate!
    A meteor punctures an outer “firmament” of water suspended above the earth (because God put it there silly) causing it to fall to earth. The meteor also punctures the earth’s mantle, releasing “the waters of the deep,” another layer of water that suposedly separated the mantle from the core. This way there would be enough water for a worldwide flood. Of course this requires scrapping all of geological theory, replacing it with “biblical catastrophism” … this … thing… that I will refrain from calling a theory… _also_ explains how the world can be only 6 thousand years old by saying that most major geologic formations.. were caused by the flood.

    Agh, I can’t believe I know this stuff. I’m going to go scrub out my brain now.

    “Genesis is half hymn, half allegory, written by men who believed that the earth was flat.” – Darrow in a radio play about the Scopes trial.

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