Caulimovirus | October 25, 2006
Or I Should Probably Go See A Doctor .: Recently I’ve developed a twitch. It’s a bastard of a thing, as it’s unpredictable and very noticeable. There are basically four varieties I’ve noticed: 1.) my right shoulder will twitch up towards my cheek 2.) my cheek will twitch down towards my right shoulder 3.) my […]
Caulimovirus | October 17, 2006
Or “These May or May Not Be Entirely My Own” Mico n.) Residue from an aged painted surface, detected most easily by expensive clothing of complementary coloring. Krum v.) To discover a hidden piece of gum on the underside of a desk with one’s knee. Alpine n.) A small tent erected in the crotch of […]
Caulimovirus | October 11, 2006
Or “I’ve Added a New Category Specifically for Words” Altair n.) A hypothetical angle1 that, when present in the hinge of a car door, allows for ease of entry and exit while simultaneously preventing any potentially damaging contact with neighboring vehicles. Exact value unknown; expressed as a range of probabilities and denoted by uppercase lamda, […]
Caulimovirus | October 2, 2006
Or “Murphy’s Law: A Corollary” “If something desperately needs to go right, it will do so immediately after the point at which it becomes irrelevant.” .: I lost my wallet on Saturday, searched for it on Sunday, and gave up looking for it on Monday. I called my granddad to have him cancel my debit […]
any day you survive the Dooner treatment is a good day as if watson would leave his house in improperly polished footwear a true scientist will always disregard the risks in the pursuit of knowledge every sentence gets its own paragraph fighting feeding fleeing and not tonight honey i'm tired how am i supposed to type one handed now i'm popping open a bottle of synthohol when i publish I can see you fouling up the air tonight - oh lord i don't even know if dogs have caeca I sleep with three socks marketers developed this ace years ago but kept it sleeved for when the inevitable lull in ketchup demand strikes now they're going to watch even more fox news one solution is to have two dachshunds so that they wind up licking each other instead people would be much kinder if robots would sort them by wavelength plus now everywhere I go I know how to do a maxi prep spend the extra thirty bucks for a better motel surfing is just another way of knowing they can't just pour a curb this time the falling apple impedes science turns out they weren't poisonous what am i ever going to use this for what if he prefers to do it oz-like women have it not necessarily harder but certainly creepier