Newer Words

Posted By on August 10, 2006

Or
“An Updated List of Words You Should Use”

Ballinger
1. n.) A fallacious or fraudulent paper written on a particularly contentious issue that exists solely for pundits and journalists to cite as an authoritative source. Reading the paper is generally considered superfluous.
2. v.) To publish a fallacious paper on a contentious topic with the intent to create confusion and controversy where none exists.

I knew Richard Lindzen’s Wall Street Journal opinion piece on Global Warming was unreliable once I spotted the ballinger in the fifteenth paragraph.

Jasper
1. n.) A seemingly ideal solution rendered infeasible only by its defiance of physical law.
2. adj.) Superficially tenable but physically impossible.

Bob’s plan to cool down the kitchen by opening the refrigerator door turned out to be a rather expensive jasper solution, costing him several groceries and a new compressor.

Clute
n.) A short period of time during which the blinker of one car is synchronized with the blinker of another car.

“Man, this red light has lasted five clute cycles,” complained Mark.

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Comments

2 Responses to “Newer Words”

  1. Robin Z says:

    Wow, I get opportunities to use “jasper” nearly every day. And I’d be glad to use “ballinger”.

  2. Geoff says:

    I sat through a couple of clute cycles today. I thought of this while I waited.

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