Posted By Caulimovirus on May 28, 2006
“Oh No, It’s Oscar!”
.: At about 11:00 am I was awoken by the shrill crescendo of Ravel’s Bolero, rendered into the wildly inappropriate medium of 8-bit ringtones. It was a phonecall from Gigi, and she was in Houston alongside Oscar. “Where are you?” she wanted to know, presumably because she wanted to visit me.
“I’m in The Woodlands.”
“Good,” she said, “I’m in Houston with Oscar. We’re coming to visit you.”
Fig. 1. On the left is Oscar, and on the right is Gigi. I have removed everything else that’s irrelevant from this picture.
.: Now that I have said everything twice, I think it’s time for me to offer a brief diescription of Oscar. He somehow manages to be completely harmless while also being disgustingly disturbing. He’s lecherous in a manner that completely excludes harrassment of women while at the same time being attracted exclusively to them. He will stop short of nothing to offend your sensibilities, and he’s motivated not by spite or anger, but simply because it amuses him so. He’s also funny as hell.
.: Gigi‘s Vietnamese; that’s all you really need to know.
.: At the insistence of Oscar, we went to Johnny Rockets for lunch. Johnny Rockets is a 50’s style burger joint which, we later learned, features a staff that dances to 70’s style disco music. They also play music by the Stray Cats a lot, because nothing better exemplifies the 50’s experience than anachronistic music and outrageously priced burgers.
.: Afterwards, we met up with Susan, played a game of cutthroat, and ventured down to the galleria, where we met this woman. I forgot nearly everything Gigi told me about her, but I now have her picture.
.: Before then we went to a fine chocolates store and purchased delicious-looking chocolate which, by and large, left the majority of us unimpressed — which is a shame, too, because we spent a lot of money on it. At one point Oscar suggested we go back to the store, return the uneaten portions, and yell “No!”
.: Before that, we were still driving to downtown Houston, and that’s not a very exciting avenue of the story to explore, so allow me to skip towards the end:
.: Oscar led us all on a guided tour of Central Market, a kind of focal point for all things commerce. He exposed us to chocolate far greater than that which we purchased earlier. One notable item was a dark chocolate bar that actually contained tiny chunks of cocoa beans interspersed throughout. Eating that chocolate was like taking a small bite out of heaven, swallowing a part of Jesus, and digesting the Holy Spirit.
.: I also added two new brands of root beer to my collection: Gale’s Root Beer and Blue Sky’s Ginseng Root Beer. Gale’s was no winner, but Blue Sky’s was about the softest tasting root beer I’ve ever had and goes quite well with chocolate and sushi.
.: We went back to my place after that, Oscar and Gigi parting ways and Susan remaining with me for a little while longer before departing for home herself.
.: Since I don’t want to make a separate post for this, I think I’ll share it with you here. It’s what Susan wrote into my Notebook of Admittedly Bad Ideas last night. In an effort to mock me and my ideas, she decided to transcribe my profound thoughts and story ideas into a language more transparent and accessible to the public.
– writing late at night = crap
– people are meaner when lacking sleep – true?!?
– young girl goes to prep school, leaves sheltered life, meets attractive boy. There is some sort of continued complication that is worked out in the end. (Alternatively, could be case with Olsen twins for a lesbian incest twist.)
– Cody stares at me while attempting to not fall off the bed. I push him, we see what happens. He fell.