Posted By Caulimovirus on May 27, 2006
“On The Other Hand, I Did Read Quite A Bit”
.: So I didn’t post every day like I said I would. Sorry about that. I have a pretty good excuse, though: I didn’t have internet access. It’s a long story (in that it spans the course of several days), but it can be told relatively quickly: the internet people came by on Tuesday to give me internet, and through diligence and hard work they had my internet working by Saturday.
Fig. 1. This is my stapler. If I don’t lock it in my desk drawer when I leave to use the bathroom, it will be gone by the time I get back.
.: In the mean time, I got my old job at the bank back, only now I’m no longer endlessly scanning papers into the computer. I’ve moved on to bigger and better things: I now wait for someone to send me a piece of paper which they scanned into a computer, then I read what’s written on the paper, and if everything’s okay I get to go into the computer and click a button that pretty much tells the system, “everything’s going to be okay.” I can’t help but think that these are the papers I scanned last summer and that they don’t actually mean anything — as if it were an infinite loop of inconsequential assignments, designed to accomplish nothing and serve nobody. I get paid nine bucks an hour.
.: I get about forty or so of these papers a day, and it takes me no more than two minutes to process them — that’s about eighty minutes of solid work every day, only I work an eight hour shift. (Actually, this past week I worked a nine hour shift each day, simply because I can’t do clock math.)
.: On the first day, I was told that if I ever got a paper where not everything is right, I would have to call the number on the bottom and make sure the person on the other end of the line was mistaken, because our system couldn’t possibly be mistaken. In addition to forcing the other person into admitting that they were mistaken, I would also have to make them fix the mistake, because we can’t do anything to fix the mistake, since we didn’t make it. Surprisingly, I soon learned that most other people are unwilling to fix the mistakes they obviously made; I would frequenly reach an impasse and nothing would get accomplished.
.: That all went away the very next day, when I learned that, instead of calling the number at the bottom of the paper, I could just circle what was wrong with the paper and put it in a folder. There, I could simply leave the papers for two weeks, and if nothing happened with them (this is usually the case with inanimate paper), I could throw them away. I was elated! No more angry people who refused to admit their mistakes! No more uncomfortable stalling while I try to figure out what I need to say next! It was glorious.
.: That, of course, changed on Friday. Starting next Monday, the Incorrectly Marked Papers Folder shall be no more, and I must return to the disembodied angry voices. Still, I’ll have plenty more to do, like trying to figure how to automatically email new posts from blocked websites to my gmail address. Anybody out there know anything about that?