Sleep Deprivation

Posted By on November 18, 2005

Or
“Always Check Your Smoke Detector’s Batteries”

.: My neighbors in apartment 5 moved out at the beginning of the school year. I live in apartment 4. It is now 4:30 in the morning, and I cannot sleep because the smoke detector in apartment 5 is going off. I’ve surmised that there is no fire, because otherwise by now I and all my belongings would have been long ago reduced to charcoal.

.: Nobody in the complex knows or remembers any contact information for the people who used to live there or the people who currently own it. This ringing has been going on for more than 30 hours! I called 911, they put me through to the fire department, who said they pretty much can’t do anything if there’s no actual fire.

.: I’m guessing the folks in apartment five haven’t doled out the extra cash for something like brinks home security, or else I would have seen firetrucks within seconds of the ringing. As such, I am this close to taking a rock, smashing their window, crawling inside, and ripping out the god damn smoke detector. I will then burn the smoke detector in a manner I deem most fit (probably with some sort of fire). Until then, I’m not going to get any more sleep.

UPDATE – 11/19/05: The alarm’s still going off, so last night I went to my friend’s house to crash, but not before finding a nice comfy couch in the library for four hours. Then, this morning, I was awoken far earlier than I’d have wished by my friend’s smoke detector, which was low on batteries.

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Comments

8 Responses to “Sleep Deprivation”

  1. Dallas says:

    “I called 911, they put me through to the fire department, who said they pretty much can’t do anything if there’s no actual fire.”

    This should have given you an idea.

  2. kaia says:

    Attack it with your stapler.

  3. kaia says:

    Attack it with your stapler.

  4. JillStaci says:

    .: I’m guessing the folks in apartment five haven’t doled out the extra cash for something like brinks home security, or else I would have seen firetrucks within seconds of the ringing. As such, I am this close to taking a rock, smashing their window, crawling inside, and ripping out the god damn smoke detector. I will then burn the smoke detector in a manner I deem most fit (probably with some sort of fire). Until then, I’m not going to get any more sleep.

    Susan must really love you.

  5. JillStaci says:

    Oh, and…
    Why don’t you attack it with your stapler?

  6. surrealgertrude says:

    Surely there is a property management company who handled your lease and credit check, if not an on-site maintenance man/service. Who would you call if something malfuntioned in YOUR apartment? THEY will have a master key. If not, activate an official EMERGENCY third party…I mean, don’t you smell SMOKE or a GAS LEAK? Tell the police your neighbor’s BURGLAR ALARM seems to have been activated by a prowler,etc. Good luck.

  7. Lauren says:

    You could always attack it with intellectual snobbery. Hey you long time no see.

  8. Cody says:

    Hello there, Mudrock. Indeed it has been a long time, no see. Come to think of it, I don’t believe I’ve ever actually seen you.