Stunning Revelation
Posted By Caulimovirus on October 26, 2005
“Installment B of Things You Don’t Expect To Hear”
“I want Susan babies.” – My mother.
90% True
To happiness, endlessly.
“Installment B of Things You Don’t Expect To Hear”
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any day you survive the Dooner treatment is a good day as if watson would leave his house in improperly polished footwear a true scientist will always disregard the risks in the pursuit of knowledge every sentence gets its own paragraph fighting feeding fleeing and not tonight honey i'm tired for a man who hates anne frank he sure does laugh a lot how am i supposed to type one handed now i'm popping open a bottle of synthohol when i publish I can see you fouling up the air tonight - oh lord i don't even know if dogs have caeca I sleep with three socks marketers developed this ace years ago but kept it sleeved for when the inevitable lull in ketchup demand strikes now they're going to watch even more fox news one solution is to have two dachshunds so that they wind up licking each other instead people would be much kinder if robots would sort them by wavelength plus now everywhere I go I know how to do a maxi prep spend the extra thirty bucks for a better motel surfing is just another way of knowing they can't just pour a curb this time the falling apple impedes science turns out they weren't poisonous what am i ever going to use this for what if he prefers to do it oz-like women have it not necessarily harder but certainly creepier
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Yeah…I’d really like to know the context there.
Awkward…
I want tar babies, but they don’t make ‘em anymore.
Susan: Oh, I was just telling my mom how I planned to steal JillStaci’s genes and combine them with my own to form some kind of super sarcastic uber child, and she said she would prefer Susan babies instead.
Christina: Shut up.
JillStaci: What the heck is a tar baby?
come now, haven’t you ever heard of uncle remus?
A ‘tar baby’ is a little licorice candy in the crude shape of a naked but gender-unspecific human being, the ingestion of which gives one the powerful illusion of being a giant cannibal. Think Jeffrey Dahmer with a sweet tooth.
They are now horribly politically incorrect, as well they should be, I guess.
Google Image Search comes up with nothing for “Tar Babies” that matches that description. I think you’re lying.
I wish they did exist…I love eating babies. Delicious.
Even Googling ‘tar babies’ is polically incorrect.
Shame on you.
Oh, look, I’m so smart I invented a word.
/meant “politically”, natch
I stumbled across a word of my own the other day. “Pyschopathetically” — I like it.
Dallas – what does that mean?
It rolls off of the tongue much more lyrically than “polically†so you do need to ascribe it a definition.
Once you do, post it on urbandictionary.com. If they allow definitions for such charming masterpieces as “pig roast†and my breasts, they will surely allow “Pyschopathetically†to grace their hallowed halls.
Susan – I direct this next to you, because I feel that you are the voice of reason in… well, in anything Cody-related.
Please convince Cody not to use the words “tar babies†in public. Or ever, if you can.
Just as I can picture Cody crashing a medical convention, leaping up to the podium, and announcing to the stunned invitees, “I STAPLED my cold sore!†I can see him inadvertently moseying into a meeting of the NAACP and shouting, “I googled TAR BABIES!â€
Jill – I’ll use one of its forms in a sentence instead.
“The girlfriend who wrote her boyfriend a suggestive email while pretending to be someone else to allure him to cheat on her with herself just to see if he would cheat on her behaved in a psychopathetic manner”
‘hope that clears things up.
Mom: “Cody’s blog has him suggesting to a woman that they mix their gene pools to get a super sarcastic child and I told him that I wanted Susan babies insteadâ€
Gordon: “Oh you shouldn’t dictate your expectations like thatâ€
Mom: “It’s not a real expectation, I’ve told all my children to be careful about relationships and having children in an untimely manner. I put in a disclaimer about it afterwards. We just don’t need any more sarcastic children, thats all. IT’S NOT LIKE IT’S ON HIS WEBSITE FOR ALL TO SEE. It was just a conversation on AIM, no big dealâ€
You knew about my regular installment of “Things You Don’t Expect To Hear” perfectly well when you made that statement.