Script Session
Posted By Caulimovirus on September 28, 2005
“Sometimes I Like To Think This Conversation Actually Took Place”
.: Whaddya got for us, Dick?
:-: Okay, how about this:
.: I’m listening.
:-: So there’s this elephant, right? And he has big fucking ears.
.: You’re fired.
:-: Hear me out!
.: You’ve got three minutes.
:-: So he’s got these big fucking ears, and all the other elephants hate him.
.: Naturally.
:-: But what the freaky big-eared elephant doesn’t know, is that his gigantic ears give him the ability of flight.
.: …
:-: He only finds this out after he gets piss drunk and wakes up in a tree, though.
.: The elephant becomes intoxicated at some point?
:-: Yeah, because he had the hiccups and his optimistic mouse friend told him to drink some water. Here’s the best part: while he’s drunk, he has a freaky-ass dream about other elephants.
.: What color are these other elephants?
:-: Pink.
.: I see.
:-: And they’re not only pink, but they’re also shape-shifters. I’ve got this one scene all planned out where we see an elephant who’s made up of nothing but elephant heads. That’ll scare the shit out of any three-year-old for years!
.: Right, well, the more I think about it the more your idea sounds like it’ll actually work. You got a title yet?
:-: I do. I call it: “Goofy Ass Elephant With Big Fucking Ears.”
.: …
:-: It’s a working title.
I feel like someone was slightly scarred by a certain Disney movie in his or her childhood.
Dumbo was Dallas’ favorite.
Q. Why do elephants have big ears?
A. Because Noddy won’t pay the ransom.
Dear boy, absolutely adored your terrist, tererist, treserist post.
Oscar.
I agree with Christina.
I came for the terrorist post, I stayed for this brilliant illustration of the hollywood movie factory. I subscribe to rss via bloglines for the future good stuff.
Thanks for the entertainment.