Posted By on September 21, 2005

“Another Run-in With The LAW”

.: Police officers. Collectively, they’re a vital section of society that protects us from one another. Individually, they’re all assholes. At least, that’s been my experience.

.: Take today, for instance. In the previous post, I mentioned going to a lecture by Dr. James Watson, a living legend. The venue was free–first come first served. Or, put another way, those who showed up first got seats. My sister and I went, and a classmate of mine said she’d come, though I knew she’d be a little late so I saved a seat for her.

.: Needless to say, after the lecture started they stopped letting people in. A police officer was stationed by the door to enforce this policy. When my classmate arrived, she was turned away by said policy. I still had a seat saved for her, so when she text-messaged me to tell me that they wouldn’t let her in, I got up to go get her.

.: I asked the lady inside the room by the door if they’d let me back in, and she said, “sure, just don’t clang the door on your way out.” After the door shut I saw my friend across the hallway and motioned to her. This is what happened:

Police Officer: I can’t let you in there.

Me: It’s okay, I have two seats saved.

Police Officer: You still can’t go in there.

Me: The lady on the inside said it’d be okay for me to come back in, and I have a seat saved for my friend.

Police Officer: I can’t let any more people in there, that’s fire marshall code.

Me: But I just camed from there, and I have two seats saved. It’s not a problem if there are two empty seats.

Police Officer: Once you stepped outside you’ve lost your chance.

Me: You’re not listening to me, are you?

Police Officer: Blah Blah Blah Black Blah Blah White Blah Blah Zero Blah Blah Tolerance Blah Blah Code Blah Blah Fat Stupid Lonely Power Obsessed Pig Blah.

Me (to classmate): Okay, let’s go.

.: I have yet to meet a Police Officer who has managed to think outside the boundaries of a Zero Tolerance world view. Maybe thinking that way is a requirement for their job–something that makes their life easier–but it sure as hell makes it inconvenient for everybody else.

.: I was powerless in the situation. All he had to do was open the door and ask the lady, and everything would have cleared. But he didn’t, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t do it because making the lives of two younger people miserable brought happiness to his pathetic life as a door guard.

.: What was even more disappointing, though, was going into a back room where they had a video feed. There were several dozen people, but the majority of them were disinterested students. Disinterested students watching the co-discoverer of the structure of deoxyribonucleic acid talk about his life and discovery, the most important advancement in biology of the 20th century! Un-freakin’-believable! And why did these students come? The answer was given by a large lady in the back who told us, “Be sure to sign in with me for extra credit attendance.”

.: Oh, and my brother can’t make it up here this weekend. Thanks a lot, Rita.

.: Bitch.

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5 Responses to “Disappointment”

  1. d2ana says:

    “Be sure to sign in with me for extra credit attendance.”
    Sigh…this is the greatest crime and disappointment of college. When I was in high school, i was so excited for college, thinking finally FINALLY i wouldn’t be a “geek” anymore, because EVERYONE in college would be passionate about learning.
    or…perhaps not.

  2. Ashley says:

    I sympathize and have had many similar, and a couple much worse, experiences with cops. I gotta say in a case like this, though, cops are lied to constantly. More than the officer not being able, out of the box, to help someone, it’s more likely that 1,000 of your local brothers and sisters have worn him out of being able to care and taught him not to even risk being burned again.

    Also, loved your burn-the-professor-at-the-stake piece.

  3. Oscar Wilde says:

    “I have yet to meet a police officer” / customs man / any fucker in uniform.
    Forgive me for prolific comments, it’s not usually my style, I have read three posts, and made three comments. Blame “Onegoodmove” It was he who directed me here.
    Here is my little tale.
    I live in the UK, my Lady lives in Ireland. Not many moons ago I was taking the short flight from Mancheter England, (I supose many of you are
    a bit young to remember “Hair”) to Cork City Ireland.
    Had my hobby not been working in stained glass then this would not be a tale about to be told. Passing through security, or trying to, with a well packeged gift for my Lady, upon xray of said packege, the inevatable questions arose, I won’t bore you with the preamble.
    suffice to say, the conversation went something like this.
    PIU (prick in uniform) You can’t take that aboard, it’s glass.
    SP (me,Saintly Person.) I am well aware it’s glass, I made it, it is a work of art,. it is a gift for my lady.
    PIU. you can’t take it on the aircraft.
    SP. It’s a gift for my Lady, it’s made with of love, what on earth do you think I might do with it?
    PIU. You’re not taking it on the aircraft.
    SP. Are you married, do you have children?
    PIU. (reluctantly, but finding it hard to deny his only daughter)I have a daughter she’s eight years old.
    SP When you go home tonight and she climbs on your knee and says “What did you do today Daddy?” will you say. ” I was a complete prick, I fucked a mans happiness and probably broke the heart of his girlfriend”
    PIU. Get on the fucking plane.

  4. surrealgertrude says:

    http://progressive.org/mag_mc081905 These young women faced similar woes from a rent-a-cop. What is going on with the repression in public forums?

  5. Guy says:

    Come to Cambridge, and I’ll take you to the very pub where Watson and Crick casually mentioned that they’d discovered the structure of DNA. “Yeah, double helix. Who’d a thunk? Anyway, mine’s a pint of bitter.”