Omnimania
Posted By Caulimovirus on March 10, 2005
“n. Of or relating to everything.”
.: I took a break from AIM this past week. The idea was that by shutting off AIM, I wouldn’t spend so much time at my computer, thus motivating me to go outside and interact with flesh and blood. It worked okay for the first half of the week, but after that I pretty much returned to my computer, sans AIM.
.: Spring break starts tomorrow. Most people love spring break because they have no school for a week. I love spring break because I get to see my friends again, except for Christina, but she’s not my friend, she’s an evil whore, and it’s all the better that I don’t have to see her. I love spring break.
.: There’s a dish in Baylor’s cafeteria called Cashew Chicken Stir Fry, but they should really call it Pine Nut Chicken Stir Fry, because that’s what it is.
.: Last night I called Susan and the discussion eventually wandered into abortion territory. She asked if I was pro-choice or pro-life, and I told her I wasn’t exactly sure. I don’t think she was satisfied with my answer, and I think she was further dissatisfied with my weak-kneed reasoning for not providing a definite answer. Now I can’t stop thinking about abortion, and the more I think about it, the less I know anything. She called me a conservative; I don’t think I am.
.: Yesterday my friend and I started shooting a faux-documentary called “Real Life Is Boring.” We followed another friend of ours around for an entire morning (which took place in the after–please refer to the “faux” part of “faux-documentary” if you do not understand), and we recorded what we rightfully believe to be the most boring 20 minutes of film ever captured on tape. I was the narrator.
.: My brother and I (and a friend of his, if he’s available) are going to try to give the MST3K treatment to that awful film, The Omega Code. We attempted it before, but my brother blamed sobriety as the reason he could not continue. If you have any suggestions for better (worse?) films for us to do, please say so.
.: I purchased the most recent They Might Be Giants album, The Spine, for one song: Damn Good Times. I had a twenty second clip of the song beforehand and I would listen to it over and over, wondering how it would end. As it turns out, Damn Good Times is simultaneously my most- and least-favorite song on the album, a status made possible by the inclusion of an all-together different “song” at the end of it. Buy the album and listen for yourself, if you’re curious.
.: The Omega Code is a really bad movie.
.: I went to a baseball game earlier this week. Baylor was playing some other school. I don’t know if we won or not because I left early. Instead of staying the entire time, I went with a new friend to Best Buy. It was there that I bought The Spine.
.: I remember visiting my brother when he was at Baylor those many years ago. Back then, there was unrestricted internet access, meaning you were able to fully enjoy the benefits of a T1 connection and almost every port was available. Times have changed, of course, and now every trip home turns into a weekend downloading binge. This upcoming week will prove to be my biggest binge yet.
Just begging to be lampooned, the following wastes of good celluloid are submitted for your approval: Hercules in New York (1970), The Wicker Man (1973), Clash of the Titans (1981),
and The Lair of the White Worm (1988). Need more? Just ask–I took graduate Film classes in college and I’ve got a million of ’em!! –Mrs.D
I will make this Spring Break the worst Spring Break you have ever experienced in the history of Spring Breaks. How, you ask? Well, because I am more powerful than you could possibly imagine I could reveal my diabolical plan. But I’m not going to. I want it to succeed.
I would call you a whore, but it would be incorrect to do so, since you have yet to make a cent.